What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

This is a story about two couples sitting around a coffee table talking with two of them telling about their previous love or lack thereof. This story also shows two very different views on what true love is and what it is not. Terri and her husband are telling their friends about her last relationship before she met Mel. “Terri said the man she lived with before she lived with Mel loved her so much he tried to kill her”. Terri is trying to explain that even though people act crazy and try to harm you, which does not mean they don’t love you. While Mel disagrees, he states “I don’t know what you call it, but I sure know you wouldn’t call it love”. I would have to agree with both of them, her boyfriend obviously had something messed up in his head but that doesn’t mean he didn’t truly love her. Later in the story it goes on to tell you that he used to stalk them and make numerous threats, then kills himself. This shows that he had many mental issues, but it doesn’t mean he didn’t love Terri. Then they talk a little about Mel's ex wife and thoughts about her.
After finishing the article what I find very interesting is that Mel said he truly loved his ex wife. Even though He states that she is allergic to bees and he has contemplated killing her using bees. This is hypocritical because he said earlier that Terri’s past relationship wasn’t true love because of her ex trying to murder her. Then he states that he was truly in love with his ex wife even though he has thought about killing her.
Questions:
Do either one of them actually know what true love is?
Do we sometimes past judgments without looking at our own actions or statements first?